I've kept an online presence for a few years now and somewhere between realizing my love for design and developing a voice, the blog that I had lost its focus. If only switching web platforms or claiming a new name for my space on the Internet could solve the mystery that was, what the next post would be about––a review of the Pantone color of the year, or an ode to cheese. Why not both? I ask myself now. My former self would stress, not about the fact that my round-up of posts resembled Rachel's English trifle, but over feeling conflicted about it in the first place.
During my blogging hiatus, I questioned whether I would ever post again. Some days, I craved the creative fulfillment that blogging provided and other days, it felt more like a chore that I was putting off. As debate about whether I would return to blogging ensued in my mind, I continued to divert the dreaded decision.
Then, one day while reading Maggie Nelson's The Argonauts, an excerpt from the book struck me:
"Nuptials are the opposite of a couple. There are no longer binary machines: question-answer, masculine-feminine, man-animal, etc. This could be what a conversation is––simply the outline of a becoming."
Throughout the book, Nelson proposes the rejection of binaries, suggesting that they are a construct created by society to come to terms with its primal inability to accept uncertainty. While meditating on this idea, I confronted all the times I had sacrificed growth, mistakes to be made, or what Nelson calls an "outline of becoming," from making all-or-nothing decisions. As much as people stress that it is important to be clear about what you are all about, what you're writing about, I realized that navigating the gray area between definite and indefinite was just as crucial, if not more crucial, than aligning myself to either side of the spectrum. And that, perhaps, more than culminating to the refinement of what is to become, navigating this gray area helped me come to terms with just that––the state of becoming.
So that's what this space will be about. Getting comfortable with the in-between, learning about myself as well as what surrounds me, and posting about, both, what I think of the Pantone color of the year and an ode to cheese––simultaneously. After all, it's not about the destination, but the journey, no?
Join me if you will! Just don't give yourself the ultimatum of having to check in all the time or never at all. This is not the place for that. This is the place for sometimes. Or maybe. I guess we'll never know.